Fifty Shades of Nope

Hi all! I'm back to ruin your "Fifty Shades Freed" movie plans. Happy Valentine's Day!

A few years ago, when "Fifty Shades of Grey" was released on Amazon, I rented it. I had a credit, so it was no skin off my debit card, and I sure as hell wasn't going to invest the time in reading the entire book.

But, I didn't want to comment on something I hadn't even seen, and frankly, I wanted to see what everyone was losing their minds over. I had read excerpts from the book posted online and found it hilarious...initially.

The hilarity faded as I saw Mr. Grey stalk Anastasia, ignore safe words, and flat out abuse her while she bent over backward (almost literally) in an attempt to make him love her. 

She was not at all a willing participant in the BDSM world. And he was no dom. By his own admission, he was a "sadist" who just enjoyed hurting women. The final scene of the movie featured Grey hitting Anastasia several times, and her crying and fleeing the apartment.

What the fuck just happened? Disregard the bad writing of the novel (granted, I'd only read excerpts, but they were poorly written enough for me to get the point), and you're left with an equally bad movie. But kudos for keeping the movie true to the stupidity of the book.

Women surely would not stand for this, I'd thought. All the women who headed out to the movies on Valentine's Day, their boyfriends or husbands in tow, to witness a man emotionally and physically abuse a college student had to have been disgusted with it, right? I mean, teenage girls weren't able to really perceive the abuse that was the Edward and Bella relationship, but these were grown ass women.

No way were they falling for this "oh, poor baby - his mother was a crack whore and he just doesn't know what love is and I can change him" narrative. Women would surely call bullshit on Fifty Shades, wouldn't they?

No. Apparently, not.

So, again, on Valentine's Day, "Fifty Shades Darker" was released. And again, I rented the movie. Because it had to get better.

It didn't.

After Anastasia rids herself of sociopath Christian, he shows up at her friend's art show, dick swinging, and purchases all the photos of Anastasia whom he still views as his property. And she goes right back to him.

Right fucking back.

And this time, she has her sights set on making him a functional human being. She tries landing him by giving in to whatever bullshit he wants while using it as leverage to get things she wants - like an ounce of respect.

Well, that seems healthy.

Oops! Wrong dysfunctional Anastasia.

Fans of the "Fifty Shades" series have touted them for bringing BDSM out of the closet and onto the backs of our toilet tanks and tub edges. But does "Fifty Shades" really understand the BDSM
culture? I think, not.

What E.L. James failed to steal from "Secretary", was the trust, love, and commitment a true Dom/Sub (D/s) relationship needs to have.

She led millions of women everywhere to believe that a man with gross emotional problems and sociopathic tendencies who abuses and stalks a partner, really just needs someone to understand him and show him what "real" love is. I can't think of a more dangerous message.

It's an ever-growing theme in "women's" literature: the theme of abuse/domination = love. It perpetuates the age-old problem of women making excuses for abusive behavior and believing that if they just love him more, he will change. True BDSM relationships do not work this way.

In my blog post, The Victimization of Women in Romance Novels, I address the increasing popularity of romance novels that feature possessive, domineering men who seek to possess, control and own women. The "Fifty Shades" books are the catalyst for the increasing demand for such fiction.

(I tried to find a GIF to put here, but they all contained shapeshifters and aliens and shit, so here's one of Peter Dinklage for no reason.)

As we wear the Pussy Hat and march on Washington, it would be great if we could also demand more from our movies and literature. There is a difference between exploring our sexuality and supporting dysfunctional messages about relationships. So, as you make your Valentine's Day plans, maybe contemplate the message "Fifty Shades" sends women (and frighteningly, men) about love and romance. Never ignore the red flags in a relationship.

And, in case you're not sure what the red flags might be, here's a partial list;

1) If he has a tracker on your phone so he can "always find you", or you find him in your apartment, and you never gave him a key - run.

2) If he ignores safe words and seems to enjoy hurting you - run.

3) If he consistently attempts to talk you into to shit you don't want to do - run.

4) If he refers to you as his "property" at any time - run.

5) If he tells you this is just who he is and cannot change - believe him.

If you have trouble doing any of the above for any reason, contact these people - The National Center for Victims of Crime - Stalking Safety Plan

And, here's a list of other shit you can go see on Valentine's Day.  New Movies

If you want danger, go bungee jumping. You're more likely to come out of that unharmed than you would trying to change an abusive asshole.

Now, here's my all-time favorite trailer for "Fifty Shades of Grey" starring the great Steve Buscemi.

Happy V-Day Y'all!

Why We Need to Stop Calling Ansari Aziz a Rapist

Oh, god. I didn't want to say all this. But, I have to.

It's been eating away at me while I wait for us all to have the conversation that needs to be had.

And we're not. I've been watching weeks of debate about the Ansari Aziz incident.  Is he a sex offender? Is he just pushy and rude? Is he stupid? Women, once again, have divided themselves over this issue. On one side, we have those who feel he sexually assaulted Grace during that date. On the other, we have people accusing her of regretting the consensual sex they had.

Most of us have been there. Most of us have felt overly pressured or coerced into sex acts we didn't want to engage in. But, we did - and regretted it.

So, I am going to preface what I'm about to say next by first saying that I believe every word of Grace's account of the date. I believe he was pushy, aggressive and intimidating. I believe she felt coerced, violated and angry. I am not here to discount or analyze how any woman feels about a sexual encounter, nor am I implying that he wasn't wrong in his actions.

But, Ansari Aziz is not a rapist. By the account given, he did not sexually assault her. And, we need to stop calling it assault.

Brock Turner is a rapist. Emily Doe was a victim of rape.

Larry Nassar is a rapist. All 150 women who stood against him recently were victims of sexual assault.

We have been calling people like Al Franken and Garrison Keillor out on their "sexual assault," and I feel like it's hurting the conversation about sexual violence.

What happened to Grace is a symptom of a much bigger problem: why do women feel like they can't safely say "no" and leave if they are able?

I feel like the answer is the rape culture we have been raised in. Since the beginning of humanity, women have been treated as property. We have been conditioned to accept the will of men and to be compliant with abuse, aggression, and intimidation. We have been taught to be "obedient," and compliant.

Men, in turn, have been taught that women must be all of the above as well. If a woman says "no," perhaps she is just being coy or playing "hard to get." Perhaps if he asks 500 more times, she will 'give in". And, sometimes we do. The man, as it seems to be in Aziz's case, decides she really does like him after all, and secretly wanted sex all the while. Women, like Grace, go home feeling violated.

Spending generations in a rape culture which is prevalent in T.V., books, movies, and the workplace, there is a desensitization that occurs. Perhaps it's due to generations of boys and men being taught to be "tough," aggressive, and unemotional. I don't know, and it's not an excuse to ignore the initial word "no."

But the conversation needs to focus on why women still do not feel safe enough to say "You know what? No. I'm not going to hang out and watch Netflix. I am leaving because I'm uncomfortable with you."

For me, I know that the times I have stayed and regretted something I did, there was a fear that if I said no, things might turn violent anyway. I questioned if I was allowed to say "no" to someone I liked. The boundaries were confusing. I came from a childhood of sexual abuse and was raped as a young woman. Those boundaries would have been a lot clearer had I not been raised in a culture that seeks to silence women. And, the boundaries would have been clearer to the boys/men I didn't think I could say no to had they not been raised to be "dominant."

In my blog, The Victimization of Women in Romance, I address (albeit more lightly) the fact that we are still confusing domination with love. Books and movies like "Fifty Shades of Grey" and "Twilight" are still teaching women that we should want to be controlled and dominated. That to be controlled is to be loved.

And, we are buying the books and movie tickets in record numbers.

This is where the conversation needs to be. We should be dismantling the system that tells us it's not ok to say "no" and leave because it feels wrong. Being pressured and coerced does not mean the man loves you so much he just cannot help himself.

Yes, we need to call out every person who violates another sexually and stand firmly against it.

But, throwing the words "assault" and "rape" around because a man puts his hand on your back during a photo op (as in Keillor's case) is giving those who seek to discredit the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements the ammunition to do it.

Our words need to have power. Desensitizing people to the word "rape" is a dangerous path to tread. Calling coercion "assault" takes away from what assault is, as well as the severity of it.

I feel terribly for Grace. Ansari made her feel a way that no women would feel had there been "enthusiastic consent." Yes, he should have read her signals better. Yes, he acted like a pig.

But, this was not an assault. As unpopular as my opinion on this might be, I need to reclaim these words for sexual violence, or else mine, as well as others experiences, lose meaning if they are lumped in with every date on which the man acts like an ass.

If you have been assaulted, harassed or coerced and need to speak with someone, click under the heart below to find your local chapter of RAINN. They are there to listen, and not to judge. Your feelings about any sexual encounter should be honored, no matter what the circumstance. Speaking out is how we dismantle this broken world we live in.

RAINN

Love Letter

We were nothing. The universe was black and silent. And, in a flash of light, we collided. Entire systems exploded into the nothing. We could see.

Stars grew and shined. Some retracted into themselves and faded back into the silence and the dark. Others expanded - reaching out to warm the empty spaces. We grieved the loss of the smaller stars while the giants burned in indignation and rejection.

So young, we were.  So narrow our vision. We saw only what went missing. We saw the negative space between the suns.

We wished we were warmer as the flames around us burned hotter in compliance. But, we grew colder still.

Our eyes adjusted to the light too quickly. What was once a white burning supernova, seemed dim as the darkness crept in our peripheral vision.  A quiet, titanic sleep was upon us.

We two young planets were plunged back into the night. But, we will wake someday soon. We will be born again in the same darkness.

Next time, let's see the sun.

An Open Letter to My City Council

Dear Mayor Panto and Council Members,

I want to make the council aware that, as of December 31st 2017, four violent, registered sex offenders are living in the Hotel Lafayette.

This does not include transient, out of state offenders who may not have registered with PA Megan's Law.

On December 31st, I went into the Hotel Lafayette to confront the manager in regards to this issue, as parents were given assurances from Easton Arts Academy and law enforcement that pedophiles would not be residing in such close proximity to the school.

Just two weeks ago, I spoke to a police officer who assured me that no sex offenders were living there, and that law enforcement was keeping a frequent eye on the hotel.

The manager told me that not only does he not check ID's or backgrounds of "tenants", but has no intention of asking offenders to leave. He claimed he doesn't own a computer and doesn't even know how to use one to do a basic Megan's Law check to ensure the safety of his other guests as well as the children who attend the school across the street.

The police were called and they stated that the neighbors on the street were notified, and they were unsure of the laws about proximity to schools, but would check into it.

I notified the school and received a phone call from Joanna Hughes, the CEO of the Easton Arts Academy.

She told me the school was informed and photos were hung in their office, but no further measures were taken. She told me that parents were never given assurances as to the cleaning up of the hotel and that "pedophiles have rights too."

I asked her why my post via the school's FB page, to warn other parents to be aware, was blocked, and she stated that she thought it may be illegal to share information from Megan's Law - a public information site.

I also stated to her that the law says that no more than five registered sex offenders can be living in one place ( Section 42 Pa.CS 9799.25 (f) of Megan's Law) and if found, the owner of the residence or "boarding house" will be fined between $2500 and $5000 for the offense. 

She stated to me that the school "can't do anything about it". I find this horrifying. 

I have pulled my son out of the school as I no longer feel safe having him attend a school where the administration takes zero action to ensure the safety of its students and staff. They chose to build their school across the street from a building which is "something straight out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie". So, in my opinion, they need to be more diligent.

As of now, these offenders below list the Hotel Lafayette as their primary residence. While Megan's Law does not routinely dictate where a registered sex offender can live, some individual offenders are restricted from living near schools and daycares. This information is not being followed up on as far as I can tell.

Robert William McCullough - Repeat, violent predator

Eric Orlando Garcia - Tier 3 sex offender

Patrick Joseph Boscia Jr - Sexually Violent Predator

Neil James Albright - Tier 3 sex offender

While these men may, or may not, have personal restrictions on where they can live, the fact that there are four living in the hotel unchecked is alarming. Who will be checking to make sure the hotel is fined accordingly if one more checks in?

Criminals and dangerous offenders choose the hotel because they are asked nothing about who they are. Robert McCullough works at the Bayou in Easton (as listed on the Megan's Law site) and stated to another employee that he was not required to show ID or even give his name when moving into the hotel.

I respectfully request that the council address this issue and offer parents some resolution as to what measures will be taken to ensure the law is being followed.

Ms. Hughes' flippant attitude and suppression of information to parents is unacceptable. They worry more about the status of their charter than the safety of their students in my opinion.

I would love the opportunity to have this issue brought to the calendar for discussion and resolution.

Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

Getting Through the Holidays For Depressed People - A Practical Pessimist's Guide

This time, every year, there are many blogs and articles written to help us move through seasonal depression (or chronic depression) and survive the holidays. 

While well intentioned, so many of them give us advice that is impractical whilst in the throes of a major depression. The confusing and Herculean task of "practicing self-care" goes unheard for a lot of us. 

So, who am I? I am anti-holiday depression advice, so why should anyone listen to a damn thing I have to say?

You don't. You are a grown ass person. You can do, and not do, whatever the hell you want. I could end this blog right now on that note because that's the crux of it. But...

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and assault as a young woman. I am a mother of three - the youngest having a variety of special needs. As a lifelong renter, I have moved at least 40 times in my life (and counting). We live paycheck to paycheck. I have been homeless. I have been hungry. I have autoimmune disease and chronic pain conditions. I have PTSD, Anxiety and Depression. I have been hospitalized twice in my life because of it. I am not qualified to tell you what to do - but I am qualified to say; I understand. 

Here's some advice you've probably heard already, and therefore can skip:

1) Plan Ahead

2) Prepare neutral responses when visiting relatives

3) Buy a S.A.D. lamp

4) Take CARE of yourself. Take a relaxing bath.

5) Eat well

6) Exercise

Ok, that is all good advice - if you can muster it. For some of us, peeling ourselves out of bed just to go to the bathroom is as much as we can get done in a day. The rest is just all too difficult. 

So here's my top three tips for anyone who is in that "should I get out of bed to pee?" category;

1) You Don't Have To Do The Holidays If You Don't Want To - (Stay with me on this, I know it's shocking).

When we were children, we had no choice. We had to schlepp to various relatives' houses to smile, interact, and be the harbingers of good cheer. As an adult, you don't have to. You can invite people to come see you, order a pizza, and call it good. You can also skip it altogether. It all depends on how much you'd like to see these people. If tapping out of Aunt Trudy's invitation causes you more stress, invite her over. Meet for lunch (if you can). Explain your depression and the fact that you are struggling. People understand more than we give them credit for.

But, if Aunt Trudy was a total bitch to you growing up, skip it. We are hardwired to keep up appearances - especially when it comes to family. The holidays reek of peacemaking and putting things behind you in an effort to patch things up with previously toxic people. Maybe you did this last year. But, after the New Year, did the relationship build? Did it get better? Or was it the same old shit? If the latter is true, don't put yourself through it again. It will be no worse than it already is. The holidays are the worst possible time to resolve complicated family bullshit. 

"But Morgen, what if my family doesn't know that I can't stand them?" Yes, that's a more difficult obstacle. In the spirit of self-preservation, you can always say you don't feel well. It's the truth after all. And, if you have a family who fakes it all anyway, they won't even question it. Remember - the goal is getting through the holidays in one piece. This is about survival and self-preservation. If you have kids, don't even think twice about using them as an excuse. Just use the phrase "stomach bug" and there will be no further questions. 

2) You Do Not Have To Go Gift Shopping - (No, you really don't)

The pressure of holiday shopping is a huge extra stress you don't need. If you can get it together to bake, do that and give treats as gifts. If like me, that just sounds like a lot of math, Amazon can be your best friend. You can send gifts and digital gift cards to nearly anywhere via email (they will do that for you). Because, also like me, searching for that option seems like work, you can find it here: Gift Cards . If you really can't afford any of those options and are able and willing to mobilize, a visit to help cook dinner or come late and help clean up after would be appreciated more than you probably realize.

3) Take Your Medication and Reach Out For Help If You Need It - (Seriously.)

It might seem like your medication isn't working because you feel like you've been hit by a truck. But it most likely is (because you're reading this and not on a ledge somewhere and that's pretty awesome). And, if you still feel horrible after the holidays, a call to your doctor to revisit your medication and dosage is in order. If you are not on medication, and you feel like you can't hold on, call your doctor ASAP. If you don't have a doctor, you can call any of the below resources and get immediate help. They will not judge you. They will not "tell" anyone. And, they will not send the white coats to your house to come and get you (unless you've really become completely unsafe to yourself in which case, let them. Fuck your pride and fuck the holidays. Save yourself. At the very least, there will be drugs and sleep and you won't have to cook or even get up to pee if you don't want to.)

Suicide Prevention Hotline

Pride Counseling (for the LGBTQ community)

AA

NAMI Helpline 

Salvation Army ( if you need help with bills, food, gifts for the kids, coats, etc..)

You can also dial "211" from anywhere, and reach a "warm line" to connect you to local services in your area. This one is also a great resource if you have children you are struggling to care for. I don't address this much in this blog because it would be 8,000 words, but reach out to them. You can get help with gifts, food, even childcare and housing resources if you are in crisis.

January is just around the corner. It's an important turning point as the cold dark of winter, and all that comes with it is on it's way out. 

Whatever rules or guilt which have been instilled in you about the holidays throughout your childhood no longer apply. You owe nothing to anyone but yourself. You are the most important thing. I know that is probably really hard to believe when you're feeling so bad, but it's true. There are people on standby 24 hours a day whose sole purpose is to talk to you and help you through it. Talk to them. If you have another depressed friend, hunker down and be depressed together and get each other through it. Allow yourself to stay in a cocoon on your couch binge watching mindless shit until the depression sees an opportunity to step out for a moment. Then, you make your escape into wellness again.

You will get through this. Chances are, you've survived heavier shit. Hang on. 

Now, here's a kitten doing pilates. 

The Victimization of Women in Romance Novels - When Fantasy Sends a Dangerous Message

About five years ago, I decided to participate in the NaNoWriMo writing challenge. The goal was to write 50,000 words in a month. As an aspiring writer, I jumped into this challenge with great fervor. Because I tend to be a little dark, I wanted to write something completely different than I had in my songwriting career - a love story. Yes! I would write a love story and it would be funny and edgy and awesome.

Taking inspiration from my Indian friends and my love of their culture, I typed out a story of a whirlwind romance between a scrappy, Philly girl and an Indian school teacher. She meets him on a train tour through the Indian countryside. I kind of figured she'd just have some vacation sex, see some sights, fly home and call it good.

But at the end of the novella, I felt like I needed to have closure with it - so I shopped it to publishers. I re-wrote the ending (because "happily ever after" endings did not mean vacation sex and back home to Netflix apparently), to create a conclusion that coincided with the standard for "happily ever after". She gets accidentally pregnant after being told she'd never have children, and he shows up on her doorstep just in time to save her from her own misery. It sold zero copies.

I had strayed far from what I intended it to be. I added more sex, I took some sex away. I made her strong, and then I made her needy and depressed wallowing in her own self-loathing. In the end, I was told, Asian -Caucasian relationships were not "interracial" enough.

And then they asked me for two more books. Which I wrote. I tried to take all critique and change the stories to suit the publishers’ needs. I tried to give them what they wanted while still trying to write interesting, strong female characters. All three books combined sold 5 copies in a 3 year period of time.

I saw that my publishers' most popular books were alien/human or shapeshifter/human romances. "BDSM" was growing ever more popular since "Fifty Shades of Grey" reared its ugly head in mainstream media. I did not think I had the energy to read the book, but I watched the movie.

By all accounts, Christian Grey, just like his “Twilight” counterpart, was an abusive, controlling, self-absorbed sadist. E.L. James had betrayed the BDSM community and set a dangerous new standard for what constitutes "romance" in literature. Disappointingly, so did one of my favorite authors, Anne Rice with her "Sleeping Beauty" series. Walt Disney would have been proud though. To her credit, she put the Disney princess' pseudo-sexual messages right out there in the open.

Side note: The original "Sleeping Beauty" story involved Aurora/ Briar Rose (or Talia in the original story) being raped while unconscious and being forced to carry and give birth to twins conceived of that rape. While still unconscious. Yup. Ok, g'nite, kids!

But, I digress. As I am so prone to do.

I embarked on an experiment. I wrote a very short story that was, intentionally, utter garbage. - or "Shit Lit", if you will. A Yeti - Human romance in the Himalayas. 100 copies were downloaded in less than a month's time. What the fuck is wrong with everyone?

I began to pay more attention to the quotes and titles for the new "romance" books by successful authors that peppered my Twitter feed on the daily.

"You were born to be mastered and owned by the men around you."

"I hiked up my dress as he forced himself between my legs."

"'Don't stop', she begged as she rubbed against his belt like a cat in heat."

"He pushed her down and ripped off her black silk panties."

"Is my little slave ready to be taken hard again?"

"The Bigfoot pounded harder and deeper into his little toy."

"Seven sexually sadistic dwarves turn a submissive princess into a quivering wet mess of hot, incoherent female flesh." (I am not fucking kidding)

"Ashamed."

And at least 7 books, just yesterday alone, featured the word "Claim" in their titles.

There was one book only which featured a woman in charge - and she was a succubus. Of course.

I know quite a few authors who do not write about abuse. They do not write about rape or sex with aliens and cyborgs. But they also do not write strong female characters either. As if there's no middle ground, one must write their erotica/romance heroines in terms of either abuse and slavery, or silly and befuddled.

All these authors are women. I am assuming, based on the comments and shares, that most of the readers are women too. So, what is happening?

With the emergence of the “Wonder Woman” movie and its record-breaking box office receipts, we were presented with a strong, female character - ehhhhh - seemingly. But, even in that story, there is an undertone of sexuality. The coy "I don't know anything about sex - ok, I know everything about sex" paradigm played out, albeit briefly, in the first 45 minutes of the movie. Patty Jenkins received props for not over sexualizing the Amazons, but they're still kind of sexualized. Does all female armor need to consist of short skirts? I would think keeping your legs protected during battle would be far more efficient.

We are marketing to women and still disrespecting them at the same time. We are creating a narrative which tells women (a-fucking-gain) that they need to be controlled. And women are throwing their money at them.

So, I can only surmise that rape culture has been so deeply-seeded that it's nearly become its own blood type. It binds itself to our DNA. It hides in the deepest parts of our hearts that long for love - for companionship. Some of us are accepting and paying for, our own victimization.

I cannot speak to lesbian erotica or romance because I have not read those authors. There seems to be fewer of them. But, I will. Because I need to know what the differences are between the two women - the woman who writes "Claimed by Her Master" and the woman who writes "Marcie's Lesbian Lover". F/F encounters I've read so far have been in the context of a threesome in which the aim was still pleasing a dominating man.

We are in dangerous times. We are fighting like it's the 1920's, and the President of the United States just told the victims of Roy Moore that he does not stand with them because tax reform.

I don't think we can wear the Pussy Hat and then go home and rent "Fifty Shades Darker". We cannot fight oppression and then oppress ourselves via Kindle on the way to work.

For me, as a budding author, I need to do some soul searching as well. I have watched all the "Twilight" movies. I do that when I want to clear my head of all thought. I know they're garbage. But I still watch. Why? And I would invite any woman who has read or watched any movie that has an undertone of abuse to ask themselves the same question.

We should be able to embrace our sexuality, and our right to porn and trashy romance novels, without yielding to a culture which attempts to dominate and control us. And, if you are the author of any of the above books, there is no judgment here from me. I got sucked into it too. I wrote things I didn't feel because I wanted the publishing deal and the fan base. But, in the end, I achieved nothing by selling out.

But you, E.L. James - you are not off the hook yet.

Why Women Will Be Saving America...Again

It seemed like it started with the Women's March. And then it seemed like it started with the James Woods allegations. Then, Harvey Weinstein. Then, Kevin Spacey. Charlie Sheen. CK Louis. Ray Moore. Al Franken. #MeToo.

But it didn't. It never started, because it never stopped. Since Eden, women have been fighting for equality. We've been fighting for the opportunity to be heard - to be treated like *gasp* equals.

Human history is written on the back of oppression. Women, regardless of color, religion, or economic status, have been a consistent target for as long as there's been written history.

We have been both the vessels for gods and kings, as well as demons. We have been made all-powerful and infantilized at the same time. Make up your minds.

During the Revolutionary War, women both held down the forts and defended them when the men grew weary from combat. During the Civil War, more than 400 women disguised themselves as men and went to battle. And, when we weren't doing that, we tended to the wounded and dying. We kept the homes safe. We emerged from The Antebellum with a nod of gratitude and sent back to the work of having babies and cleaning houses.

During WWI and WWII, women took over the roles of Police Officers, Switchboard Operators, Telegraphers, Mechanics, and Drivers - all while maintaining the home and raising children. During WWII, more than 100,000 women joined the Armed Forces. No accurate records were kept as to how many women were injured and killed during the wars, and when they were over, the surviving women holding down jobs in the previously male-dominated workforces were asked to step aside and hand those jobs back over to the men. We proved our strength, patriotism, and dedication, and yet, we had to fight for the right to vote. We were held political prisoners and subjected to torture, violence, and ridicule.

We railed. We starved ourselves. But, we won.

There exists this ongoing paradox of needing women desperately to benefit the U.S., to stuffing us back into our boxes when our country wants quiet. But there's never quiet - because women are not the problem. We are the solution.

In this era of "President Pussy Grabber" we have, once again, had to up our game and stand in unity. At least 16 women have come forward to speak out against Trump's abuse of women and children.
One by one, women have been coming forward with their stories of sexual assault by Hollywood bigwigs, politicians and other public figures. And one by one, we are discredited and re-victimized. Save for CK Louis and Al Franken, no apologies or acknowledgments have been made public. Therefore, it is assumed that we are all lying. Because it's so hard to believe that women are being victimized in America.

We are back to the never-ending beginning.

This blog won't be nearly long enough to cover all the injustice - all the hypocrisy. And, maybe that shouldn't be the point anyway. The point is, during times of extreme struggle in America, women have saved us. And, they are saving us again.

Recently, we have celebrated the public office appointments of two transgender women: Danica Roem and Andrea Jenkins. Oklahoma, notoriously "Red", won a Democratic seat in the state senate.
Other political heroes like Elizabeth Warren, Maxine Waters, and Claire Warner are railing against corruption and injustice. They are guarding the fort 2017 style.

This is what we do. We see shit going down and we march - we fight - we speak. That's been the case since Lilith first rebelled against Adam in Paradise. The difference this time is; we won't be going back into the box. This is a new Revolution. The current state of our country has woken the mama bear in all of us.

So, fifty years from now, history will remind a new generation of the time that women saved America again. Don't give up. Speak. Rail. Believe.

That's all I had to say.