Only the Surface Will Freeze - Practical Tips For Managing Anxiety & Panic

 “You wake up one morning and there it is, sitting in an old plaid bathrobe in your kitchen, unpleasant and unshaved. You look at it, heart sinking. Madness is a rotten guest.”

― Marya Hornbacher

One day, I was trying to describe my anxiety and panic and managed to compartmentalize them into three thoughts.

You know that feeling when you're running very late for something you absolutely cannot be late for? How it feels like surges of adrenaline with no outlet, just creating a circuit moving around and around your body? Sometimes it kind of feels like that for me.

Or when a lake has frozen over, but the water underneath is still rushing. Outwardly, everything is still and threatening to crack at the slightest disturbance while the water just keeps moving along. This is the kind when I get nothing done and can make no decisions.

And, for me, the worst one of all,

"The Awakening" kind. The anxiety that lets you believe it's gone and you have a few good days or weeks. But slowly, little by little, it creeps back in. Maybe a stomach ache, palpitations, or even just a sudden sense of dread. And then you know it's coming, wait for it to hit you all again, and you go back to being non-functional.

(If you haven't seen this movie, I highly recommend you do, but only if you want a really hard, ugly cry.)

Over the years, through trial and error, I've compiled a list of things (sans pablum) that really do help. I should preface this list by saying that if you think you're having a medical or psychiatric emergency, there's no shame in calling for help or going to the ER. I think a lot of times, we anxious types show up to the doctor's office or ER either all the time or never.

I have been assured by many an ER nurse that they'd rather you show up every single time you feel like something's wrong so they can reassure you you're ok than avoid reaching out at all. Your panic or anxiety attack is a refreshing break from what they're used to dealing with in a day.

Also, they are very generous with the emergency anxiety meds - just sayin'. I found Atarax because of a trip to the ER. 

1) Ice packs. An EMT told me this trick once while I was losing my shit, heart racing on my living room couch after just calling 911 CERTAIN I was having a heart attack. (I was not). If your heart is racing, an ice pack on the back of the neck for a few minutes slows it all down.

2) Magnesium. For me, this doesn't help all the time but helps enough that it made this list. I use Natural Vitality Calm because I'm ridiculous about swallowing pills larger than a crumb. I use this one (I am not an affiliate in any way).

3) Electrolytes. I was getting crazy palpitations and extra beats, and when I've had really bad anxiety, bloodwork found that my potassium was low. I just down a Gatorade Zero and usually feel better. 

4) Freezing Meals. On the days I'm functioning pretty well and I cook, I set aside a portion to freeze. Over time, I've compiled probably about a week's worth of meals that everyone in my house can just heat up when I have gone non-functional. It also ensures that I will eat something of substance when even the thought of boiling water is just too much. This also works with take-out meals. 

5) Binaural Beats. I completely discounted this as a resource initially because I thought it was bullshit, but there are studies in neuroscience that support it. I put my earbuds in and go about my day as best I can. I have found that I am sleeping better most nights and can rein in the anxiety attacks before they spiral into panic. Here's a playlist of some of my favorites.

6) Ear Seeds. The MA at my dermatologist's office told me about these. She said her wife uses them and swore by them. Both me and one of my kids tried these, and both felt better. It's possible that we both had a placebo effect, but honestly, as long as we felt better, who cares? They're pretty cheap too. I know it's another Amazon link, but this is how we introverts function. 

7) Worry Dolls. My mother had these in the house when I was a kid, and I've now purchased them as an adult. There's zero science to this one, but I love them, and other people have said they helped too. That's really all that matters. It hurts nothing to put one under your pillow. I whisper my worries to the doll in my cupped hands before putting one under my pillow. Also, inexpensive. 

8) Antihistamine. I know this one borders on medical advice, so I shall state ahead to please ask your doctor about these. Atarax (hydroxyzine) is what I take, and I love it. Its a prescription antihistamine that is used off-label for anxiety. I have also had doctors tell me to use Benadryl or Zyrtec over the counter which have also helped. 

9) Get a Check Up. I know this one is really hard, but if you have health anxiety (like me), you may fixate on one thing over and over while Googling and scaring yourself to death. I am guilty of such Googling. I had a complete cardiac workup done because I was SURE my issues were heart-related. It was really difficult to go through all the testing (nothing that hurt or was invasive, just anxiety-producing), but once I got the all-clear, I wrote little post - it notes to myself so when I start fixating on a symptom, I can refer to all these notes that I was checked and am ok. That helped a ton, honestly. 

Anxiety is a complete mind fuck and creates absolutely real physical symptoms. It's sometimes called a conversion disorder. What you're feeling is real but not dangerous. 

I'm sorry in advance for this last one.

10) Go Outside. Oof, this one is hard. I understand all too well the outrageousness of what I'm suggesting here, but there have been weeks that went by when I didn't see any natural sunlight or feel fresh air. I'm not saying you have to go to a park or even go past your front steps, but just 15-20 minutes of sun really helps me. I usually sit in a chair for a few while listening to the binaural thingys. There is a real link between Vitamin D and anxiety and depression. I am in no way saying that vitamins and fresh air are the cure, but I've found that combining a few of these above (or all of them) do help. 

One last tip that I am not numbering because I decided 10 was a nice even number, and I cannot disturb it because I'm nuts. 

Watch something mindless. 

I usually choose Seinfeld or Family Guy. Just something that means nothing and has no real content or plot line to follow; background noise to just plunk yourself in front of when you cannot do anything else. Pick a show or movie that evokes zero feeling in you for the most part but is yet, still entertaining. Like how we have cat TV. 

Beyond the above list, beyond any other advice people give you, know that it's ok to have to mentally tap out of your day if you need to. I know that isn't easy or possible when you have small children or demanding jobs, but the first chance you can take to have some downtime, take it. On the bad days, maybe the kids get to watch more TV than usual. Maybe they practice reading you a story. Go Fish is pretty low brain power.

Just get through today.

On my very worst days, I try hard to remember that the good ones will make their way back around again.  

The water is still flowing underneath. 

If you want to talk to someone or get some online resources, SAMHSA has a great website which I will link here.