Last September, after the hospitalization of my son, I suffered a “nervous breakdown” (whatever that means) and was admitted to a psych facility for three days myself.
On my third day, a young girl was admitted who had been found unconscious, in a CVS bathroom, after overdosing on Fentanyl.
Video footage showed she had come in with a man, and because she was found undressed and the person she’d come in with stole her car and left her there, she felt she had been raped and demanded a rape kit in the emergency room.
They didn’t do one.
On day two she demanded it again. Again she was denied, but told her they would do one when she was transferred to where I was.
On day three she was transfered and ,during intake, she asked about the rape kit and filing a police report and she was told they don’t “do that here”.
Because the evidence would no longer be viable after three days, she panicked. She was told she had to shower, and when she refused, she lost “privileges” for not complying with her ADLs (Activities of Daily Living). This meant she could not use the phone when she asked to call the local rape crisis number.
She told me they weren’t taking her seriously because she is bipolar and also an addict. She checked herself out, called an Uber, and went to the nearest police station.
I can’t even imagine going through all that in a 72 hour period. It’s horrible.
If she had not been a patient in a psych unit, she may have been taken seriously.
Society loves to be magnanimous when it comes to people who are mentally ill. It’s “just like diabetes” after all. However, if a person with diabetes claimed to have been assaulted, we wouldn’t suggest her low blood sugar made her imagine it.
While there is a perception that mentally ill people are more likely to commit crime, the research shows the opposite. People with mental health issues are almost three times more likely to be the victims of violence.
According to the NCBI, “The popular belief is that people with mental illness are more prone to commit acts of violence and aggression. The public perception of psychiatric patients as dangerous individuals is often rooted in the portrayal of criminals in the media as “crazy” individuals. A large body of data suggests otherwise. People with mental illness are more likely to be a victim of violent crime than the perpetrator.[1] This bias extends all the way to the criminal justice system, where persons with mental illness get treated as criminals, arrested, charged, and jailed for a longer time in jail compared to the general population.”
In my own life, it was (is) a common occurrence in my relationships (and some friendships and even family relationships) to not have my needs or experiences validated.
If there is an issue with a partner or family member, I found that they were less likely to compromise (because THEY don’t have the problem) and any upset, tears or yelling was automatically attributed to having mental health issues.
No argument can ever be won.
Statements like “did you take your meds today?”, or “you need to get a new therapist, this one’s not doing anything for you”, are demeaning and frustrating because a person who feels like there is an issue to be addressed has no resolution, which actually will make their issues worse.
Statements like “did you take your meds today?”, or “you need to get a new therapist, this one’s not doing anything for you”, are demeaning and frustrating because a person who feels like there is an issue to be addressed has no resolution, which actually will make their issues worse.
Feeling unsupported and unheard can negatively affect typically functioning people. It is all the more difficult when you have a mental illness.
Can you imagine thinking you hear an intruder, or feeling like someone at work doesn’t like you, and having the person you talked to about it chalk it up to you just being “crazy”?
If a person’s mental illness makes perception hard for them, how does it help to dismiss them all the time instead of helping them sort it out?
If they say they were the victim of a crime, that needs to be taken seriously. Given the statistics above, it is more, not less, likely that they actually were victimized.
Perpetrators rely on their victims not being believed.
Perpetrators rely on their victims not being believed.
Having a mental illness does not make you a less credible person. It can make you a more sensitive, reactionary, fearful or introverted person, but it should have zero bearing on how you should be treated.
If you want well people, treat people well.
Suffering from mental health issues is exceedingly lonely. Connection, friendship, community and love are vital to all human beings. Practice kindness. The world is hard enough.
Just because you don’t have a label doesn’t mean you’re emotionally or mentally perfect. Each of us have moments of madness. For most, it passes. For some, it doesn’t.
It costs nothing to be kind.
Here’s a really good link which addresses common myths about mental illnesses. https://www.mentalhealth.gov/
