Over The Rainbow

A friend suggested that I write a blog about why I picked the covers that I did, and what they mean to me (thanks, Stacy!).

I wanted to start with "Over the Rainbow" as it is the most emotional story for me to write.

As some of you may remember, my Uncle Jim passed away nearly two years ago after a very long battle with Melanoma.

My uncle was responsible for some of the happiest memories of my childhood. He was the very picture of goodness, compassion, and generosity. He celebrated each holiday with a child's enthusiasm and, no matter how much he was suffering physically and emotionally, always tried to smile, laugh and celebrate the good things in life.

Me, Uncle Jim, and my newborn brother, Brook

He was only 15 when I was born, and even though he was a kid himself, he always took the time to spend quality time with me, and when he married my Aunt Mary Anne, their home became one of my safest havens during the course of my very difficult childhood.

He loved me no matter how I challenged my family...no matter how long the time was that passed between us. His "How ya doing, kiddo?" still rings in my ears when I think of him.

Thanksgiving times at my Grandparent's house almost always involved he and I watching "King Kong", Mighty Joe Young" or "The Wizard of Oz" together.

"The Wizard of Oz" was one of his all-time favorite movies, and after he passed, I would often think about the song "Over the Rainbow", and slowly came to realize what a profound song that was.

The song speaks of a need to believe that there is a place beyond pain...beyond suffering and loneliness. A place where magic exists and all things are possible.

He believed that people were basically good and that no matter how far you roamed in the world, you could always come back to family and love would be waiting for you.

That's who he was for me. Unconditional love. Even when I didn't deserve it... Even when I didn't say "goodbye".

So, as we set up to do this song, I felt anxiety. Anxiety at the difficulty of it and anxiety about making it be good enough to honor his memory. To thank him, and to tell him that I believe in magic too, and the lessons he taught me by example are part of my very being. Some of these lessons came so late in life for me. But, I have them now and I can never thank him enough for them.

The most important of these lessons came about in my last conversation with him. He said: "I spent a long time being angry with God. I thought, 'I try to be a good person - a good Christian - why would God let this happen to me? And then I realized that I am here for a human experience. Sometimes, getting sick is part of a human experience. It has nothing to do with God, or how good you are. It's part of being human'".

After 3 or 4 fruitless takes of the song, I brought his picture into the booth with me. It was a picture of him holding my firstborn, Antonio, nearly 17 years before this recording.

After that take, Jake and I noticed an anomaly: A strange electrical disturbance that wasn't caused by wiring, software or distortion. It does not occur in any other track and did not occur in any other take but the one where his picture was present. It is an electrical, static interference that buzzes in and out at random.

You can hear it the most at the end of the song when I start to cry a little during the recording.

We chose to leave it that way. It might have been something totally random and unexplainable, but I'm not sure about that. I want to believe he was there and knew that I was thinking of him. I want to believe it was magic.

And even if it wasn't, he'd want me to believe that too.

For you, Uncle Jim.