How To Make People Think You Are Extremely Important In 5 Easy Steps

In the world of business, it sometimes becomes necessary to network and connect with people who may be able to help move you forward and vice versa. This is especially important in the world of the Arts. Musicians, actors, filmmakers, painters and photographers are always hustling to land their next gig. But who are you? A relative nobody, right? You want to look like you're somebody pretty damn influential, so based on my observations, here's a quick tip list on how you can appear extremely important, and therefore, make those crucial connections. Or not. Whatever.

1) Have a LinkedIn account for networking, but leave people with no actual way of connecting with you. Make sure to set your settings to lockdown mode so people can't connect, message or reach you in any way. All they should be able to do is "follow" you like the sheep they are. Additionally, always view other people's profiles in "private" mode to maintain the illusion that you are not a real person. 

2) In case someone does get through your protective Wall of Importance, and reaches out in admiration of your work or states that they'd like to stay in touch with you after sharing some of theirs, make sure to answer this email or message with a simple "👍", and never, ever, write actual words back to them. 

3) Make sure your profile picture contains a photo of you either holding an award or wearing a lanyard. Having a bustling event as the backdrop of your photo can really boost your business cred here.

4) When setting up your social media handle, always include a dollar sign (or two) at the beginning or end of your name. If possible, include it at both ends. This will ensure that people viewing your profile know that you are loaded with cash money and therefore don't need shit from anyone. 

5) Always, always post status updates that prove that you are doing something important - but never say exactly what it is. Something like "grinding" or "big project in the works" should suffice. Add the hashtags "Motivation", "HustleHard", "BeastmodeOn", "Success" or "Blessed" if at all possible. Motivational memes with quotes someone else wrote are great here too in the event that you are too busy to type (which you should totally be anyway). All memes should have amber or shadowy tones. 

Following these simple tips will not only tell the world that you are uber-successful but also that you got that way entirely on your own and have never worked with anyone ever. 

Good luck and happy non-networking! #BillionaireLifestyle