Over The Rainbow

A friend suggested that I write a blog about why I picked the covers that I did, and what they mean to me (thanks, Stacy!).

I wanted to start with "Over the Rainbow" as it is the most emotional story for me to write.

As some of you may remember, my Uncle Jim passed away nearly two years ago after a very long battle with Melanoma.

My uncle was responsible for some of the happiest memories of my childhood. He was the very picture of goodness, compassion, and generosity. He celebrated each holiday with a child's enthusiasm and, no matter how much he was suffering physically and emotionally, always tried to smile, laugh and celebrate the good things in life.

Me, Uncle Jim, and my newborn brother, Brook

He was only 15 when I was born, and even though he was a kid himself, he always took the time to spend quality time with me, and when he married my Aunt Mary Anne, their home became one of my safest havens during the course of my very difficult childhood.

He loved me no matter how I challenged my family...no matter how long the time was that passed between us. His "How ya doing, kiddo?" still rings in my ears when I think of him.

Thanksgiving times at my Grandparent's house almost always involved he and I watching "King Kong", Mighty Joe Young" or "The Wizard of Oz" together.

"The Wizard of Oz" was one of his all-time favorite movies, and after he passed, I would often think about the song "Over the Rainbow", and slowly came to realize what a profound song that was.

The song speaks of a need to believe that there is a place beyond pain...beyond suffering and loneliness. A place where magic exists and all things are possible.

He believed that people were basically good and that no matter how far you roamed in the world, you could always come back to family and love would be waiting for you.

That's who he was for me. Unconditional love. Even when I didn't deserve it... Even when I didn't say "goodbye".

So, as we set up to do this song, I felt anxiety. Anxiety at the difficulty of it and anxiety about making it be good enough to honor his memory. To thank him, and to tell him that I believe in magic too, and the lessons he taught me by example are part of my very being. Some of these lessons came so late in life for me. But, I have them now and I can never thank him enough for them.

The most important of these lessons came about in my last conversation with him. He said: "I spent a long time being angry with God. I thought, 'I try to be a good person - a good Christian - why would God let this happen to me? And then I realized that I am here for a human experience. Sometimes, getting sick is part of a human experience. It has nothing to do with God, or how good you are. It's part of being human'".

After 3 or 4 fruitless takes of the song, I brought his picture into the booth with me. It was a picture of him holding my firstborn, Antonio, nearly 17 years before this recording.

After that take, Jake and I noticed an anomaly: A strange electrical disturbance that wasn't caused by wiring, software or distortion. It does not occur in any other track and did not occur in any other take but the one where his picture was present. It is an electrical, static interference that buzzes in and out at random.

You can hear it the most at the end of the song when I start to cry a little during the recording.

We chose to leave it that way. It might have been something totally random and unexplainable, but I'm not sure about that. I want to believe he was there and knew that I was thinking of him. I want to believe it was magic.

And even if it wasn't, he'd want me to believe that too.

For you, Uncle Jim.

In Another Life

Hi everyone!

Jake and I decided to put together a cd of the covers I'd been working on, and we have decided to try
and use them to raise a little money for the local food pantries and homeless outreach programs.

We came here to Las Vegas last year after some very, very hard times. As our time here comes to an end, and we prepare to return to the east coast, we have been thinking about how very grateful we are for all of the good things that have come our way this past year.

Most importantly, we are so grateful for all of our friends. It is not lost on us how often people have reached out to us, and helped us in any way they could. We are humbled.

The title of the album, "In Another Life", represents for me all that I wished had been, while acknowledging so many of the lessons that I learned along the way about love, friendship, faith and selflessness.

If you can't contribute financially, but can bring a donation of any kind to a local shelter or show some kindness to someone in need, please let me know and I'll be happy to send you a digital copy of the album :)

Click the title :)
                                                             
                                                              In Another Life

Greyhound: Leave The Tuberculosis To Us

For those of you who didn't know; I took a cross country trip on Greyhound from Las Vegas to New

York...with my 6 year old.

I'm not saying that the trip would have been any better had I been alone. In fact, I'm pretty sure that bringing my kid with me saved me from sitting next to someone drunk, high, crazy, and/or stinky.

For that, I am grateful. 

The last time I went East, I took the train. Some of you may remember the six hour delay and the three bomb threats accompanied by the five hour Mr. Toad's Wild Ride of a bus trip through the thick fog of Indiana because I was going to miss my connecting train in Chicago.

I figured that the bus could not be much worse. I was mistaken.

Here are a few of the highlights from my recent immune-building adventure.

1) A man fell on me on the bus right out of Las Vegas. Fell right across the laps of me and my kid. He could not get up. Just like the legend of the mother who lifted a car off of her child in a adrenaline fueled frenzy, I successfully lifted this man to standing and sustained a bruised and swollen knee.

2) I watched a twitchy, tank top wearin' redneck pop pills he was keeping in his hat. He then proceeded to ramble loudly to no one for the next 12 hours. Next to him was a woman who coughed so violently through four states, that she frequently gagged and spit phlegm into a plastic bag.

3) A woman boarding the bus in the middle of the night felt strongly that not only should she wake us up to inform us she was Bi-Polar (meds are "bullshit", by the way), but that we all might be interested in her sex life with her ex husband.  In. Graphic. Detail.

4) Upon trying to take my kid to the bathroom (after forcing him to hold it through most of Colorado), we had to unexpectedly step over a body lying on the floor of the bus. She was alive though. Not to worry.

5) Somewhere in Ohio, a woman boards and proceeds to shout; "PEPSI!! DO THE DEW!" several times before starting a full voice round of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall". The bus driver left her at a burger joint in the middle of Nowhere, OH after she informed him that singing on buses was part of who she was, and she had no intention of stopping.

Good for you, sister. Good for you. Sing like there's nobody listening. 

6) My kid (who has night terrors), freaks the fuck out on the bus and starts kicking the shit out of me, and anyone walking down the aisle at the time of the meltdown. Sorry, Ma'am.

7) Around Indiana, my child suddenly decides to respond to any question throughout the rest of the trip with, "DEEZ NUTS!"

8) A man put a cell phone charger on my chest while I was sleeping. It did not belong to me. He urged me to take it anyway.

9) The bus "bathroom" was simply a hole in a platform with a bucket at the bottom. No flushing; No water; No sink. In that hole there were bottles, shoes, and many other objects that one would not normally expect to see in a toilet. Oh, don't worry, there were plenty of turds too for us uptight bathroom purists. 

10) Desperate to not eat McDonald's A-FUCKING-GAIN, my kid and I made a break for a gas station during a food stop in Kansas. We stepped in ankle deep mud. When we got back on the bus, we take his shoes off and his three day unwashed feet stink up the bus. There was a subsequent announcement made by the bus driver that everyone must keep their shoes on AT ALL TIMES. I am flattered that my kid's feet were the most offensive smell on that bus. 

11) Upon stopping in Grand Junction, CO, I asked the bus driver how much time we had (as it was 4pm and no food stops had been made that day yet). He told me that I "should have been listening". I replied; "Seriously? Are you really not going to tell me how long we have?"
His response: "Listen next time".

Edit: I forgot to add in the bus driver who kept getting lost and needed the passengers to use the GPS on their phone to help her navigate. She drove around aimlessly in sketchy parts of towns and ended up went the wrong way on a one way street!

BUT, here are some great pics of all the beautiful places I got to see on my Greyhound adventure. Enjoy. The last two are the best pictures I could get lol.

St. Louis, MO

 

Denver, CO

                                                     

Vail, CO

Pretty Much Anywhere, Utah

NYC

Zanesville, OH

Pittsburgh, PA

Wheeling, WV